Talking To Your Children About Sex

"mom, what is sex?" a child of 7 asked suddenly. Mom was taken aback and after quick seconds of deliberation decided that it was time to give her little girl some first hand sex education. She sat her down and began to describe the anatomies of man and woman, and how sexual intercourse produced babies. The girl sat wild eyed and listened with her jaw dropped. Before mom finished, she ran shouting to her dad "now I know what you and your sec were doing in the office everyday, you were making babies!". Then she ran out to the garden to play with the other kids."

Sex is a taboo subject in many families. Sex education at school might come too late for many youngsters. They had already learnt about sex one way or another, and had the wrong ideas deeply implanted in their brains. Like the forbidden fruit, sex is always tempting and a challenging allurement to the early teens. Many young ones wanted to show their maturity and had gone great length to lose their virginity. Once started on the wrong footing, the process of learning and having the right ideas and attitude towards sex would be a colossal task to put a deviant path back straight. Sexual deviants are not in small numbers, quite impossible to count as many are hidden in dark cupboards, and the porno industries worldwide are making mega bucks. Why the mystery? What's the big deal?!  True but that's the fact that all parents have to face in bringing up their kids to have good and healthy sex education.

Many parents found it awkward to implement sex education at home. Some even found it unnecessary. They believe they were liberal enough to allow children access to sexual literature and internal access. It would be futile to hide. And they were available to discuss if the kids needed to talk to them. But kids don't talk to them. They talk to other kids instead and read the wrong books and magazines. Boys looked at girls as sex objects and failed to learn to respect girls. Girls would found out their own attraction and might use sex as a tool to get the things they wanted.

The question will usually crop up when the child is between the ages of 9 to 12. Children see, hear and talk about sex at an early age. They are always curious but do not ask explicitly. They might ask cursorily and they get an equally simple answer.

Sometimes opportunities arise for you to talk to your children about sex when you watch a movie or television. Sex and love, and forming intimate human relationship are all part and parcel of our culture. Casual sex and morality must not be left out. What makes us different from other animals should be emphasized. Respect for the opposite sex, especially man towards woman, and modesty and the obligation of a gentleman to protect and uphold the dignity and modesty of a woman is also a world heritage and must be perpetuated.

Many parents prefer not to have this kind of conversation with their kids. If you find it uncomfortable to talk to your kids about sex, then perhaps someone else (an aunt or an uncle) who is close and trusted by your child could be entrusted to do it for you.

And please be honest with them.  Never ignore and don't underestimate their curiosity. Bear in mind for a starter, kids do not want to know the details yet, they just want a simple answer to their question. And slowly as knowledge unfolds and learning deepens, you go on to talk about the elaborate details of the birds and the bees. Do not shun away by leading them off track. Don't tell that when a boy lies on top of a girl, they were actually sleeping on bunk beds.